Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I faked an abortion last night.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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