I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
