Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
