the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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