This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
