he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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