'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
