quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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