addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize