I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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