True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize