I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
