I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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