I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
