Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
