Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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