Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
