i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
