he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
