It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
