i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
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We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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