What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Girls should come with a carfax report
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
