I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
