Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
