I'm gonna have a badass scar
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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