didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
