Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
