all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
