nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
