I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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