It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
