i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
