He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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