So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
