Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
