i think my tv is drunk
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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