So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
