I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
