Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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