Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
