Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
