Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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