6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
