K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
