my mouth tastes like poor choices
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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