I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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