No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
