I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
