rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This house was built for laser tag.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All the doctor said was why
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
