It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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