Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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