her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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