Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
