u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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