god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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