so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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